Thursday, November 17, 2011

Loving the Taste of Life

Have you seen this? I hate this.
nothing tastes as good as skinny feels kate moss

"Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels." Kate Moss said it in 2009 and the pro-ana community (yes, there is a pro-anorexia community) has really latched onto it. I see it pop up with alarming regularity on Pinterest and Tumblr and other sites that collect and spread ideas. Often they are part of thinspo galleries, photo collections of below-weight waifs meant to serve as "thinspiration" for those similarly starving themselves.

One thing I notice among all these collections: The sickly-thin girls are almost never smiling. They are smug, they are proud, but not happy. Because when the rush of seeing their thin frames disappears, they are still not loved. And that's what they are after. They starve themselves to reach a place they have decided will make them perfect, where they able to be loved and to love themselves. They are trying to get rid of themselves so they can find what they lack. It's a race to nowhere. No matter how thin they get, they are still the person they are.

The visible measure these girls have chosen is false. Because the truth is fat people find love all the time. And average-sized people, and skinny people, and people with crooked teeth, and people missing an eye. Love is not about how you look. It's about loving who you are.

To the worthless notion that nothing tastes as good as skinny feels, I offer this quote from the movie Spanglish:
American women, I believe, actually feel the same as Hispanic women about weight: A desire for the comfort of fullness. And when that desire is suppressed for style and deprivation allowed to rule, then dieting, exercising American women become afraid of everything associated with being curvaceous, such as wantonness, lustfulness, sex, food, motherhood. All that is best in life.
A life locked in pursuit of an empty ideal is a tortured life. The things we can love about ourselves are countless. To live a full life we must look beyond our appearance and feed the longings of our soul. That starts with forgiving, with healing. It can never come from what we do or don't eat.

So to counter the damaging message proposed by the icon above I offer these images featuring the amazing model Yanderis Lodos. And unlike the catchphrase at the top of this page, these are TRUE. No one body type is perfect. Not every size is healthy. But loving the person you are has absolutely nothing to do with size.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

This Must Stop

My reaction to the Penn State scandal, which is just one of many where children are broken apart and those who see and know do nothing to help. I tried to make this shorter but couldn't.
Please share if you can. Everyone needs to know this.

The text version, with some sections I cut out.

THIS MUST STOP. If you witness a child being sexually abused, CALL 911. Do not discuss what to do with a boss or a school administrator or a church leader or a parent or a friend or the perpetrator. CALL 911.

What you are witnessing is a CRIME. The worst part is the victims think they are the ones doing something wrong. Give them back a tiny piece of their shattered lives by saying: THIS IS A CRIME and IT IS GOING TO STOP.

If you hear of or suspect sexual abuse, REPORT IT. Tell the Police or Child Protective Services. If you witness sexual abuse, STOP IT. If intervening is not possible due to fear, safety or chock, get to a phone can CALL 911. Make sure the police are on their way to stop it if you cannot.

Know This: The perpetrator has done this to other children before, and will again. UNLESS YOU STOP IT.
This is not a matter to be handled quietly.
It is a CRIME to be handled by the POLICE.

Let the perpetrators of sexual violence against children know:
WE WILL NOT PROTECT YOU ANYMORE. We will not allow your power, prestige, reputation, and influence to hide the fact that you are molesting children. This is not horseplay. It is SEXUAL ABUSE.

These crimes are horrific. That people shield the perpetrators for the sake of friendship, to protect a family name or to avoid scandal is DESPICABLE. They are accomplices in what occurs. Their silence and protection of abusers enables them to rape or molest again and again.

Any ONE PERSON who knows has the power to stop it. But fear or friendship or reputation become more important than children being molested. NO MORE.

We WILL NOT turn a blind eye to abuse. We will let children know THEY ARE MORE IMPORTANT than any job, church, team or school. THEY ARE MORE IMPORTANT than the PERSON HURTING THEM.

Abuse of children will not end. What must end is OUR SILENCE.



The world is a dangerous place,
not because of those who do evil,
but because of those who look on and do nothing.
- Albert Einstein